By Simon Black:
It must have been a dozen years ago the first time I saw one. It was late afternoon and my father and I were in a water taxi headed for the Miami Boast Show when I noticed him out of the corner of my eye… tall and skinny with long blonde dreadlocks. He looked like a lost surfer, just standing up on his longboard, holding a single paddle, headed nowhere. So why was he in the middle of the intracoastal?
“Where is he’s going?” my father pondered. I was still trying to figure out where he came from. There was no surf, the wind was not blowing and we were a mile from the inlet. Someone behind us immediately said, “It’s the newest thing… all the kids are doing it.” Then an elderly woman three rows over spouts out, “They call it paddle boarding!”
In the years that followed, paddle boarding became a national craze. From ocean to lakes with rivers in between, paddle boarding is officially everywhere. I have seen young and old, men and women, teenagers and children… sometimes all together, on the board, paddling off to the distance. The posture required forces the paddler into a rhythm that exudes strong, simple and serene. Most come to the board on small journeys, exploring the waterways, just trying to get away from it all. Others are serious about incorporating paddle boarding into their regular exercise routines. Any way you use them, paddle boards are water sports fun.
Generally, once an activity has penetrated the national consciousness, it’s finally time for me to give it a whirl. In this case, paddle boarding just looked easy. I figured, “what’s the rush?” Besides, my wife is the one with athletic skills in our relationship, and she is the type-A personality with a glaring weakness for engaging in meaningless competitive challenges. This trait has often proved helpful in settling family scores, just like it did last summer on our family vacation to the lakes of North Carolina.
In what seemed to be a lucky turn of events for me, my 12-year-old son pulled a paddle board out and came cruising by the lawn chair vegetables. “It’s real easy Mom, you just jump on and get started paddling.” She got up and headed to the water. I observed as she climbed aboard, stood up and began to paddle around the lake. Just as I thought… easy. Fast forward to the next day, with her knee all swollen up on a mountain of ice. “It seemed like fun, and no big deal,” she said. “Today, I can’t even walk, and my back is killing me!” My first official warning, once again I never even saw it.
Two months later, on a weekend to see their grandmother, my boys were digging seashells out of the Gulf. Lounging about, I saw a paddle board surrounded by beach toys. “How hard could it be? I’ve seen plenty of people do it,” I thought. For the next 30 minutes, sheer exhaustion. For every second I was on the board, I was back in the water for 20. On the board, stand up and then splash. Left side, splash. Right side, splash. Stay in the middle, stand up splash!
People on the beach seemed very amused. I felt like the last place finisher at the lumberjack log roll. Confused and completely dejected, I dragged the board and paddle back with the other toys. “Looks easy… but it’s not!” said my 12-year-old. But everyone made it look so easy… The great ones always do.
Capt. Simon Black can be found and questioned at www.boatbully.com.