You Might Be a Canal Rat If…

You might be a Canal Rat if…

By East End Eddie

The legendary Cape Cod Canal has long been famous for striped bass fishing where generations of surfcasters have wet a line for well over a century. A special breed of angler fishes these tides in an extremely unique location featuring swift current in deep water within casting distance from shore, thus –

You might be a Canal Rat if…

• You check the tide tables before confirming an RSVP for a family cookout

• The girl at the Dunkin Donuts drive thru near Red Top has your order memorized

• You don’t know your own blood pressure, but you do know the Canal spots that get the most pressure

• You schedule all physician and dental appointments for the winter months

• You can carry on a conversation with a buddy safely as you descend down along the rip rap slippery rocks to the water

• You can’t remember your social security number, but you do know what time Maco’s opens in the morning

• You know all the words to the chants recited by the Mass Maritime cadets running behind you on the service road

• Somehow you have convinced your wife that the best place in America to buy a house is right on the Cape Cod Canal

• Vacationers at the Bourne Scenic Park see you so often that they invite you in for breakfast

• You yearn to hear the cry of the proud rooster in the west end announcing sun up

• If somebody parks in your usual spot at the Herring Run other anglers wonder where you are

• Your wife accepts that the left side of the freezer is reserved for frozen bait

• New bridge construction plans bring joy to those sick of traffic, but your first thoughts are of potential fishing disruption

• Your 3 year old grandson ringing a bell makes you to think of Bell Road

• Your family ran out of little wire hooks to hang Christmas tree ornaments, but you saved the day by handing out VMCs

• Your vehicle is so full of fishing gear that there is no room for any passengers

• Most family photos show you wearing a headlamp

• You go to bed on winter nights and close your eyes thinking about the first cast of spring

• The Center for Disease Control reports an outbreak of mono, but you think it’s some kind of a problem with fishing line

• The noise from a screaming drag with a heavy fish on the line sounds better to you than just about anything

• You don’t know your own blood type, but you do know when the tide will be turning east

• Math wasn’t your best subject in school, but you are sure of the gear ratio and line retrieve rate for your spinning reel

• A presidential candidate hailed as a strong leader makes you think of 50 pound fluorocarbon

• Meeting a new guy named Leo causes you to think of bacon and eggs

• Breaking news on TV is never as good as breaking fish on the ditch

• Your surfcasting rod is suspended on the inside of your vehicle to protect the guides when you hit a bump in the road

• Your idea of a cow has nothing to do with a farm

• You keep forgetting your zip code, but you never forget to bring your tape measure

• The song “Will the Circle be Unbroken” conjures up images of circle hooks

• The sight of your 4 year old granddaughter’s hair in a braid reminds you to buy some 40 pound test

• You wonder why the heavy rain and 60 MPH wind is making other guys give up, leave their fishing spots and go home

• Sunglasses are stored in your surf bag for later because you just don’t need them at 2AM

• Canal Bait & Tackle is your home away from home

• Your car was stolen, but you were more upset that there was a new bag of Hurley Canal Killers sitting on the front seat

• You have already asked your wife to have your cremated remains relinquished into the Canal on a west tide so that the current will bring you into Buzzards Bay to greet the migrating stripers in spring

Doherty, a retired Massachusetts District Court Clerk-Magistrate, surf casts for striped bass along the Canal and is the author of SEVEN MILES AFTER SUNDOWN.