By Daniel Day
You know you’re on the right track as a dad, when your three-year-old daughter asks to go fishing for her birthday. A few weeks ago, my kids and I were driving in the car, and I was listening to them discuss random topics. I have two boys and one girl, and when you have kids, you get used to hearing lots of random conversations. When you have two boys, nearly all of the conversations end up on the subject of farts. But that’s another article for another day. On this day, however, I wasn’t prepared for what I was about to hear.
“Dad?”
“Yes, Ava.”
“Can I go fishing for my birthday?”
My heart skipped a beat. I looked in the rear-view mirror and nearly lost control of the steering wheel. I hadn’t prompted this conversation. We hadn’t been talking about fishing. I hadn’t taken them fishing in several months. Yet, my three-year-old daughter, my only daughter, my favorite daughter was thinking about fishing all on her own. I was a proud papa.
“Yes! Of course we can go fishing for your birthday.”
Her birthday isn’t for another few months, and I’m still thinking about that conversation. The more I’ve thought about that moment, the more I’ve realized a very powerful truth about parenthood. But before I can share it, I need to tell you about our first fishing trip.
The first time I took my kids to the river was for selfish reasons. My wife was running errands, and I was watching the kiddos. It was a beautiful day, and I really wanted to get a line in the water. So I decided to take them with me. We drove out to Highway 9, between Black Mountain and Lake Lure, and I found an easy place to get down to the Broad River. I set up the kids on the pebble beach with a tub of worms and three poles, and I put a small weighted grub on my line. Within a few moments, my five-year-old caught his first fish. It was a 3-4” Smallmouth Bass, but his excitement would have made you think he had caught a 42” Musky or a 28” native Brook Trout. He was stoked! Over the next few hours, my kids caught a bunch of small fish, and I found out quickly that I would be spending the day baiting hooks instead of managing my own fishing pole. But I didn’t mind. I was still outside. I was still fishing. And seeing the joy on my kids’ faces when a fish got on the line was nearly as exciting as catching a fish myself. Although the decision to take them fishing was selfish, my kids had a great day, and I felt like a great dad.
That’s when I learned a powerful truth about parenting—a truth that was reinforced when my daughter asked to go fishing for her birthday—kids, more than anything else, want to be with their mom and dad. Oftentimes, they don’t care as much about what you’re doing as they do about being with you. I talk to a lot of dads who want to be good fathers, but have a hard time figuring out what they should do with their kids. Just take them with you, and go do something you like to do. Do you like to hunt? Take them hunting. Do you like to fish? Take them fishing. Intentional dads spend intentional time with their kids, even if it’s on the river. And the exciting thing is that you might end up with a daughter like mine—a daughter who wants to go fishing for her birthday.
Daniel Ryan Day is the author of two books, including his most recent work: Intentional Christian (now available). He’s also the COO of Cascades Mountain Resort, Old Orchard Tavern and Asheville’s Fun Depot. Daniel lives in Fairview, NC with his wife and three kiddos. Connect with him on Facebook, Instagram or at intentionalchristianity.com.