By Daniel Day
I grew up on a large piece of property in Western North Carolina near the Ramsey Dairy Farm. My family not only operated Asheville’s Fun Depot (and now Cascades Mountain Resort), but we also baled and sold hay and raised cows and horses. Although I didn’t enjoy loading trucks with cut grass or mixing powdered milk early in the morning before school, I loved growing up in the country. And the best part of my childhood farm? We had a 2-acre pond loaded with large-mouth bass, bluegill and snapping turtles. I fished on that pond all year, and caught hundreds of fish.
Half of the pond was covered with lily pads, and I had a floating frog lure that never came across the water undisturbed. You’ve probably seen these lures before, but if not, the hooks are turned upwards and hidden inside the frog’s rubber body. By hiding the hooks, the frog lure can be pulled across the top of lily pads or through tall grass without getting caught. Normally, an angler can’t see a fishing lure as it’s pulled through the water, but a frog lure stays visible. After casting it out on the pond, an angler watches the frog skate over the top of the water, and the anticipation builds. After years of practice, I was able to make it look like the frog jumped from lily pad to lily pad. It’s great bait, and a lot of fun to use. And there’s nothing like watching a large-mouth bass break through a lily pad to consume the floating frog.
Occasionally, one of my three sisters would also fish in the pond. One day, my younger sister decided to haphazardly throw a line in the water, and she—not me—caught the big one. It was a monster 6-lb large-mouth bass. The largest fish I had ever seen at that point in my life, and the largest to ever come out of our pond. I want you to understand the irony of this situation. My sister did not like swimming in the pond because she was “grossed out” by fish. She didn’t like the thought of touching their slimy bodies, and she didn’t like eating them either. Yet it was my sister that caught the largest large-mouth bass in the pond. How do you think I felt? Excited for her? Proud of her? Nope. I was jealous. Really jealous. And my jealously got in the way of being a good brother.
I learned something about myself from sister’s big catch. I learned that I’m not very good at being excited for other people. I tend to be selfish, and want what’s best for me and not necessarily what’s best for others. As her big brother, I should have been overjoyed that my sister pulled in a monster fish. In reality, however, I let my bad attitude get in the way of being a good big brother. How sad!
If you end up in a situation like this—maybe instead of a sister, your friend catches a fish and you look at him or her with frustration instead of excitement, or maybe instead of fishing, you see someone succeed in his or her job or with his or her family—don’t be like me and let someone else’s success get in the way of being a good friend, brother or spouse. Don’t let your pride or selfishness ruin a moment of celebration. Instead, intentionally put a smile on your face—even if you don’t feel like it—and tell your friend, spouse or sister what a great job they did. You may find that after doing this a few times, your heart begins to change. Sometimes that’s how life works: intentionally responding the right way, even when you don’t feel like responding the right way, will end up transforming you into someone who can celebrate another’s success, even when it’s your sister who catches the big one.
Daniel Ryan Day is the author of two books, including his most recent work: Intentional Christian (now available). He’s also the COO of Cascades Mountain Resort, Old Orchard Tavern and Asheville’s Fun Depot. Daniel lives in Fairview, NC with his wife and three kiddos. Connect with him on Facebook, Instagram or at intentionalchristianity.com.