by Capt. Jim Kalvin
I’m often asked how I come up with a different topic to write about each month. As this column is a forum to share interesting or fun experiences from the past, it’s easy. If I get brain-locked, I just take a stroll around our barn – where all of the past photos, signs, fishing gear, boat parts, SCUBA gear, and knick-knacks from all over Florida and beyond are hanging. Something will stir a memory! For instance – just this afternoon, I felt the need to stir a memory. So, I walked out into the Busted Knuckle Saloon and happened by a picture of a big green fertilizer barge with the Clewiston bridge in the background. Wow! What a trip that was! Ruthie had rented a 40’ houseboat as a surprise for my 50th birthday. How long ago that was shocks me at this point in time, but I think about that trip as one of the best adventures of my life. The concessioner asked me about my boating history and to convince him that I could be trusted to handle his vessel unsupervised. I handed him my Captain’s license, my business card that showed me as the General Manager for Diversified Yacht Services, my Charter Captain’s license, and my card identifying me as the President and CEO of Standing Watch – at the time Florida’s largest statewide boating coalition. He studied them all intently for several minutes. He then went through a series of “Rules of the Road” questions which I answered correctly and we were off. Sort of.
I was told to keep the diesel generator on at all times, because the running and anchor lights would drain the batteries. As Ruthie and I exchanged confused glances, I boarded the vessel to check the condition of the batteries. I saw an air horn in a cup holder and the seam was split from corrosion. I turned on the running lights as I passed by the console and they didn’t work. Then I noticed a 20’ anchor line tied to a bow rail stanchion right next to where a cleat used to be fastened. “Where is the normal anchor?” I asked. “That is the normal anchor – we keep it short so people won’t go out too deep to anchor” was the reply. “Keeps people safe that way.” It was too foggy to leave just yet, so we ran up to West Marine and I got a 100’ anchor rope, two bulbs, a switch, an air horn, some electrical connectors, a tube of dielectric grease, a cleat and some stainless-steel lag bolts, and a battery-powered clamp-on stern light. When we got back to the marina, we filed our float plan and left in the waning morning fog.
Our plan was to go up the Caloosahatchee River and surf the opportunities – we had 4 days and nowhere to be! We made it past Ortona just as the sun was starting to near the horizon. As we anchored in a straight section of the river, I shut the generator down, and dis-connected the engine battery – just being the superstitious person that I am. We had a beautiful clear and chilly January night on the upper deck and went to sleep to the lowing of cattle in the near-by pasture. A Weems & Plath oil lantern served as our anchor light. In the morning, I realized that my superstitions had been spot-on, as the house battery bank was totally dead. I used the engine battery to start the generator and discovered that the battery charger didn’t work! I left the generator running, put the cables back on the engine leads, cranked the 4 stroke Yamaha and we were on our way to Roland Martin’s Fish Camp. Dealing with the “epic” winter storm that held us at the fish camp for two days, we discovered that the shower sump didn’t work, the barbeque grill that came with the boat didn’t have any grates, the kayak didn’t have any oars, and the heater didn’t work. I bought 2 new 31 series deep cycle batteries so we could use the house systems that were operational and we headed back to the coast, around mid-morning. It was a great three days and it would be a nice cruise home, right? Well, I was at the bridge helm, enjoying the brisk mid-day sun, beautiful clear sky, when I passed underneath the Clewiston bridge. I could see a very, very, very wide vessel coming toward me from the west and I picked up my binoculars. It was a barge and it was taking up most of the width of the waterway. I immediately started to “oooch” over to the north side of the channel and felt something very, very wrong. The vessel was not responding to the helm! I ran 30’ back to the ladder, climbed down to the aft deck, sprinted to the controls at the lower station, and prayed. The prayers worked – I was able to steer the boat from the cabin helm and able to clear the barge. Another few minutes before trying my maneuver, it could have ended very badly.
Long story short, we made it back to the home port, took our batteries, anchor rope, stern light, horn, and bulbs with us, and went home with great memories. The moral of the story? Sometimes you just have to want it – and if you want it bad enough, you’ll make it happen! And we wanted that trip!