By: Capt. Tim Ramsey
Sometimes I think instead of going boating, I should just stay at the ramp and watch the show. No form of entertainment confirms your thoughts on the human condition quite like it.
I was recently over on the east coast for a couple days and decided that as I had time on my hands, I would spend some of it at a local boat ramp, and I wasn’t disappointed. Not only was it incredibly entertaining, but as I sat there with around thirty other spectators, the series of events that unfolded left me amused, bewildered, angry, sad, and oddly validated in only two short visits. Here’s how, and you’re not going to believe it.
One guy hurrying to launch his boat disconnected the winch strap and safety cable and reversed over the threshold onto the angled part of the ramp. Either he forgot he owned a roller trailer, or his boat was anxious to get into the water because when he braked, gravity took over and it rolled off the trailer onto the concrete ramp with a sickening crunch and the bow sticking up in the air and the hull stuck on the rear crossmember. Since it didn’t go completely off, he tried to attach the winch strap. After slipping and falling backward onto the trailer frame, his pained expression said he was trying to hide the fact he got the wind knocked out of him as he hooked up the boat. As he tried to winch it back on the trailer, the strap broke, sending the boat banging down on the concrete once more. After retying the strap, he got the boat off the ground just far enough to reverse to the water. He went boating without even inspecting the damage. Lesson here? Never disconnect all the cables until your boat will float if it goes off the trailer.
Another guy tried to hurry and launch his little old Bayliner as his family stood on the dock, his son holding a dock line attached to the boat. He reversed quickly, the boat went in the water, started coming off the trailer, and as it did, the anchor sticking out from its place on the bow caught the top of the bow roller. The boat floated off the trailer with no one noticing the anchor. The man then put the truck in drive and pulled up off the ramp. Anchor line paid out as he went, and as he drove onto the flat part of the lot, the line went tight. The sudden yank pulled the boat halfway out of the water onto the ramp with a grinding noise no boater wants to hear as his family stood silently dumbfounded. Lesson learned here? Don’t be in a hurry.
Another boater bought too much boat. He tried to load items from the SUV to the boat before backing down the ramp. Only problem was he was short, the boat was tall, and he had things he couldn’t just throw over the gunwale. He tried climbing aboard. His first attempt was with the stern ladder, which was too high for him to reach when down. After getting a boost from a member of his group, he grabbed the bracket on the stern platform and tried to hoist himself up resulting in breaking the stern ladder. Then he climbed up the trailer fender and put his arms over the gunwale, only to find he didn’t have the strength to pull himself over it. He barely missed a nasty fall when his wife appeared and put one of his feet back on the fender right after it slipped off. Lesson learned? If your boat is big or you are old or short, bring a ladder.
The boat ramp had a nice current going past it, making the approach to the dock a bit challenging. At least ten boats pulled in, went sideways, and had collisions with other boats. Even more came in at an angle and had side-hull impacts with the oddly non-padded end corners of the piers. Lesson learned? Take your time.
Try to approach into the current and wind if possible. If not, stop far away from the ramp to see how your boat will behave in the elements.
At one point, a boat tied to the pier sat a bit too long after the boat ahead of them was pulled out of the water. Seeing an opening, a guy in an old boat he must have had out on a sea trial cut in front of them. Although the people in the first boat weren’t in any particular hurry to recover their boat, the shouting and near brawl between hot headed boaters was quite entertaining.
Lesson here? Wait your turn but be ready when that turn comes.
There was also an irritating dynamic at play. Far too many people were more interested in their phones than helping the boat owner launch, recover, load or unload their boats, or even keep them from hitting the dock. I could rant on this topic for another five hundred words, but I won’t, for my own sanity.
I found it obvious that far too many people were trailering boats they were neither capable of properly operating or properly trailering. Doing something just because you can, isn’t always the right answer. Sometimes the answer is a smaller boat. When I sold boats, I talked several people out of the boat that could hold ten people three times a year and into the boat they would regularly use with two people. I told them when they needed to hold ten, go rent the big pontoon boat with the grill onboard, get it messy, don’t worry about spilling your food or drinks on it and when you’re done, give it back and go home where your boat is still clean and ready for regular use. Everybody I gave that advice to said it was the best advice ever.
At the end of my time at the ramp, the tally of events was epic and the number of constants that reinforced themselves was as expected. I made a convenient list:
· Ten launching incidents. Know where you are launching your boat. Before you bring your boat to an unfamiliar ramp, drive over and check it out. Know how big the turnaround area is, the availability of dock space, the wind exposure, the ramp angle and type of traction, and the amount of spectators. That last part has a bigger effect than you think.
· Fifteen docking incidents. One boat came in with a fire in its stern locker. Know the location of your dock lines and emergency gear. Give instructions to people how to assist you in docking.
· Two trucks pulled into the water. Some ramps have horizontal grooves for traction ground into the ramp. Most don’t. Never use your boat’s engine to pull it off the trailer on a slippery ramp. If you have four-wheel drive, use it. Know that big off-road tires have a tendency to slide contrary to thinking the more aggressive tread will give greater traction.
· Two fights. Alcohol and boating don’t mix, especially when your wife picks a fight (which happened in both cases), and you are left to prove your level of machismo.
· Five police-involved situations. Dumb things draw attention. Doing something unsafe will have consequences. Slow down. The pile of people sitting up front will hinder your maneuverability. Get them off their phones and ready to help. Coming into a busy and challenging ramp with someone sitting on the bow with their feet over the side will get noticed…by law enforcement. The boat ramp was so big and busy there were police stationed there and paid ramp attendants.
· Two ambulance involved situations. One was from someone getting their leg caught between the boat and the dock when trying to approach.
Like I said, you may not believe all of this, but it is true. Just go on YouTube and see how many people are making a good living out of filming the daily events at Florida boat ramps. I may need to write a book about my boat ramp experiences. Also, if you like fishing stories, my second “Tim’s Fish Tales” book is available on Amazon. See you out there!