While fishing in Alaska this past summer, I caught what my guide and fishing buddies called “the ugliest fish ever,” the Red Irish Lord. Although taking a little umbrage at the disparagement of some of my ancestors, who did in fact build the Blarney Castle in Ireland, I had to agree with their assessment of the fish’s lack of good looks. When you look at the attached photo of me with the Red Irish Lord, you might agree.
And that got me to thinking about the Pantheon of Ugly Florida Fish. I know that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, of course, but maybe some of the readers out there will agree with me. Here is my list of really ugly Florida fish.
The Flathead Catfish, an invasive species that is found in many if not all of the Florida Panhandle rivers, has a mottled brown coloring, wide-set eyes, and large mouth which can really gross out those who have never seen one before. The invasive species has managed to destroy many native fish in this state and for that reason alone ought to be caught till they disappear from our rivers.
The Lizardfish are small fish living in tropical and subtropical waters. They take their name from a resemblance to lizards. They also have many sharp teeth, including on their tongue.
The Stargrazer, for example the Southern Stargrazer found in our waters, has eyes on the top of its head – thus its name. The upward-facing mouth in its large head is also strange, but it uses that mouth to leap up from the sand, in which it is hiding, to devour unsuspecting, passing fish. It will wiggle a worm-shaped protuberance from its mouth to attract tasty morsels. Its two, large poison spines complete the looks of this “ugly” fish.
Another ugly fish in the minds of many Florida fishermen is the Bullseye Snakehead, which is found primarily in the area of Coral Springs, Pompano Beach, and Margate, Florida. This torpedo-shaped fish with toothy jaws and a flattened head has red eyes and black blotches on its body.
We should also probably include the Fangtooth Fish, so called because of its large teeth that resemble fangs. And that face will never win any beauty contests in the sea.
Speaking of fish with fang-like teeth, we need to mention the Viperfish, also found in the sea. Those fierce-looking teeth with a hinged lower jaw make it a formidable hunter that likes to lure its prey with an organ on its dorsal spine that produces a flashing light.
I should also include the Anglerfish with a fleshy growth coming out of its head to lure in prey; the Hagfish, an eel that likes to produce slime; and the Lamprey or Lamprey Eel, which sometimes attaches itself to larger fish to suck out their blood.
Anyway, these are some of my suggestions for “Ugly Fish of the Month.”
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