By Ryan Kennedy
YouTube: Ryan Kennedy Fishing
Instagram: ryankfishing
Facebook Page: Ryan Kennedy Fishing
Well, February and March have passed, and Valentine’s Day has come and gone. Whether you took her out to a nice dinner or bought a teddy bear twice her size, you enjoyed giving the one you love a great Valentine’s Day. Now let’s get down to business; people are great, but a bass… oh yeah, now we’re talking. That’s right, it’s time to impress the mistress. We all know her. She’s a fat, green female, and you love spending time with her. She’s a sneaky ‘ol gal. Like a cat and mouse, she swims all around a ginormous lake as you frantically search to find her. Why does she hide? All you want is to lip her while she flails around, hang her on the scales to see how fat she’s gotten, and snap a picture or two to show her off to all your buddies. I don’t think it’s too much to ask, but she’s a little bipolar about it. One day she lets you pattern her every movement, and the next she’s suspended in forty feet of water with no interest in you at all.
What could you do different to get her all excited? Everything she could ever want is sitting there on your front deck. You name it and you’ve offered it to her. Do you give up? Of course you don’t. She knows just how to push your buttons and get that credit card swiping.
Friday rolls around and it’s time to head to the tackle shop. This is a serious matter here. You are trying to impress the love of your life that you want nothing more than to see hanging on your wall, so of course you called in sick to work. Walking out to the garage, you see that pretty boat and brand-new truck she made you buy. After all, she just wouldn’t spend time with you if you didn’t have a blistering fast boat and a truck with every upgrade possible. The mistress just doesn’t want to be seen with a man that doesn’t have the newest, most expensive toys out there.
If you’re anything like me, you’re heading to The Dugout in Kennesaw, GA. As the front door opens, you see those pretty St. Croix rods, and of course you’ve got to have one. How could you resist that Avid-X to go with your three hundred-dollar reel? Exactly, it’s a no-brainer. You’re walking around inside and you can already imagine the feeling of her sandpaper-like teeth grinding against your thumb. Of course, she doesn’t want to spend time with you unless you’ve got the best, most expensive fluorocarbon that money can buy. So naturally, you pick up the thousand-yard spool just in case.
Up at the counter you see all those pretty jig skirt colors, and you know that’ll be just the ticket. How could that beauty resist a hand-tied Chattahoochee Jig? You are correct once again; she can’t. After you get a few jigs made, it’s the part you knew was coming. It’s time to pull out the near maxed-out credit card. It’s okay though, because what’s one more purchase to make your love happy, right?
Now that you’re prepared to go catch her tomorrow, it’s time to go home and relax. Meanwhile, you’ve completely forgotten about your honey-do list. Oh well, you’ll get to that some other day. You’re one sunrise away from feeling that thump at the end of your line. It’s time to take it easy for the night and rest up for your big day tomorrow. After all, you’ve had quite the day, champ. Now get out on the water and go see your fat, green mistress. Tight Lines…