By Je DuBree—Whippoorwill Sportsman’s Lodge
[dropcap]H[/dropcap]mm…..let’s think about this. Well for one, Santa has stu ffed many a stocking over the years with the latest technologically advanced products. If it was designed to land a fish, he probably stu ffed it under a tree before you ever got it hung in one. From rods to reels, to lures, to fish finding electronics, you can bet he’s had every gadget and every gizmo loaded on his sleigh. And somehow over the years, he seems to always come through with the best gifts. Okay, okay, aside from that year or two when you deservingly got that bag of coal, thanks to Santa, you scored big time with at least one amazing gift to unwrap on Christmas morn. And, yeah, we all have experienced receiving that not so high on the wish list gi ft , too. I’m talking about the one, that immediately upon opening, you’re suddenly wishing you would have at least once auditioned for the school play. With only half the wrapping paper pulled back, you uncontrollably put on your Santa face as all your blood rushes to your cheeks. And, while you tactfully attempt to choreograph a smile and show your enthusiasm, your only wish now is that you don’t execute your friendship at the same time. These, it’s the thought that counts gi fts, are given via the hands of an amateur. Unless Uncle Bob, Grandma, your closest friend, or worse yet a loving spouse, reside at the North Pole, you can bet these memorable gift s weren’t wrapped there. Now Santa’s gi fts, well, they rock! No acting lessons needed here my friends! He must spend countless hours first hand with the aid of his spirited elves testing out every innovation, every hook, every line, and every sinker. How else could he achieve this flawless gift giving expertise? Could it be that he’s an avid angler and loves to fish?
Speaking of spirited, Santa couldn’t pull o this massive event without the aid of his all green geeks of gift giving. Somehow, smiling all the time, he successfully manages an infi nite number of high strung, high pitched, high energy elves. Reality check here: Either the red cheeked guy gets high on eggnog, or he must wet a hook and line to save his sanity from time to time.
Tis the time to believe—Santa works and resides at the North Pole, a chunk of shi fting ice floating in the Arctic Ocean. e water there is 13,980 feet deep ( fish live in water). The nearest dry land is said to be of the northern coast of Greenland about 430 miles away. We already covered the “green thing”, so even if Greenland was only four blocks away, when Santa needs a break, no way he’s going there. The North Pole is the northernmost point on Earth where all directions point south, so Santa can’t go farther north. Santa can’t go east and Santa can’t go west. It appears that he has two choices. When Santa’s only wish is to escape from it all, he either goes south or he goes fishing. The spirit of Christmas and the magic of Santa have never gone south on any of us. HO-HOHO… Santa’s Gone Fishin’! Merry Christmas to ALL, and to ALL a good BITE!!